


The First Adventure of Frodo Baggins

by TheSwanWriter



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon, And Bilbo's husband Thorin, And Kíli/Frodo happens, But that wasn't intentional, Gen, Humor, I don't even ship it in canon, I swear, M/M, Multi, Ori and Fíli and Kíli bring Frodo to Erebor, Romance, This story writes itself, To live with his cousin Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 12:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwanWriter/pseuds/TheSwanWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frodo Baggins didn't know much about his third cousin. All he knew was that he once broke a plate belonging to said cousin, and that this cousin, Bilbo Baggins, disappeared.<br/>Bilbo was assumed dead, and life in the Shire continued. For Frodo, everything went back to complete normality.<br/>Until his parents died.<br/>Months later, he is paid a visit from three dwarves, three dwarves who want to bring him to live with his not-so-dead and married-to-a-dwarf-king cousin, Bilbo Baggins.<br/>Frodo accepted. After all, he's always dreamt of adventure, ever since he was a small child.<br/>He just never dreamt of falling in love along the way...</p><p>AU, originally done as a fill for an anon on The Hobbit kink meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous/gifts).



> A.N. Many liberties are taken. None of the Dwarves died at the end of the Battle of the Five Armies, Frodo's parents died when he was twenty-seven, rather than as in the books, but that happens only around three or four years after the events at the end of The Hobbit, rather than 20+. Basically, I screwed with canon. :P You'll see more changes when you're reading the story. Alternate timeline, I guess.   
> Done as a fill for a post by an anon on the The Hobbit kink meme.  
> Edit, Jan. 15th- I changed Frodo's age, seeing as I didn't do my research well enough before beginning to write this. He's now twenty-seven. (The hobbit equivalent to being 18, at least according to the chart I read which made 33 in hobbit years as the human age of 21.)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
Chapter One  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

When Frodo Baggins was just 20 years old, he overheard his parents talking about his father's second cousin. Apparently, his name was Bilbo Baggins, and also apparently, he had just up and left the Shire a few days prior. 

Frodo recognized the name after a few minutes. They'd visited him once, he was nice, Frodo had thought. He was the one who lived in Bag-End. Frodo liked Bag-End, it was big. He ended up breaking a plate though, and Bilbo must've been incredibly fond of it, because he was speechless in shock, and Frodo's family left quickly and they hadn't visited since, though apparently he'd forgiven Frodo, since he wrote them asking them to come by again. (Besides, he was only 16 at the time, it was an accident.)

Frodo heard his father say that Bilbo had gone on an adventure. Frodo thought that it sounded like such fun and wished he could've gone, but when he mentioned that to his father several days later, he said that he shouldn't eavesdrop and that respectable Hobbits didn't partake in such senseless activities. 

Frodo decided just to settle for making mischief if he couldn't have an adventure. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Bilbo had been gone for quite a long time, Frodo thought. Long enough for everyone to assume he was dead. He and his parents were attending a public auction of all of Bilbo's belongings. Frodo hoped that Bilbo would come back and crash the auction, then dazzle them all with stories of his epic journey. 

He didn't. 

Frodo watched his father engage in a fierce bidding war for Bag-End with the Sackville-Bagginses, and they won. 

Frodo didn't like the Sackville-Bagginses much, they were too serious, especially Lobelia. He played a prank on her once and she went completely ballistic. He ended up grounded for a month, which was disappointing because he was planning on dragging his best friend, Samwise, to Farmer Maggot's fields so they could usurp some of his mushrooms, but he was stuck inside the house and had to wait a month longer than he was supposed to. Frodo wasn't very fond of waiting, at least when it wasn't for a good reason, but he obeyed his parents and waited a month before stealing mushrooms from the grumpy farmer. 

He got grounded again.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo didn't know what happened, everything was so normal, then this happened. 

'This' was the death of his loving parents, Primula Brandybuck and Drogo Baggins.

Drowning, of all things. Swimming was a rare skill found in Hobbits, Frodo had it, but his parents didn't. 

He attended the funeral, and Sam's family offered to take him in for awhile, but Frodo declined politely, choosing instead to live in Brandybuck Hall, his home, by himself. 

He was twenty-seven after all, he could certainly take care of himself.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Not quite a year later, Frodo had decided to take a stroll to the market, it was only three days until his twenty-eighth birthday, and he wanted to buy himself the ingredients to make a cake for himself. 

He was just buying eggs when he ran into Otho Sackville-Baggins and his wife, Lobelia. 

Frodo debated 'accidently' dropping an egg or two on the neatly combed hair on Lobelia's feet, but decided against it. After all, he was a mature, responsible hobbit now. 

"Frodo Baggins, I'm surprised to see you out and about, we practically thought you'd died," Lobelia greeted. 

"No, I'm fine, considering," Frodo replied, doing his best to be polite because really, the obnoxious and greedy Sackville-Bagginses were disliked by most every Hobbit, and a few even suspected that they did their best to *make* people dislike them. 

Otho eyed him and then turned to his wife. "He hasn't met them yet, Lobelia," he whispered loudly. 

"Hasn't met them? Oh, well, in that case, it's no surprise you're still here. Goodbye, Frodo," Lobelia replied, and hurriedly walked away, dragging her husband behind her. 

Frodo blinked. Hadn't met who?

 Why did he have the distinct impression that Lobelia and Otho had thought something bad had happened? 

Frodo just shook his head and bought his eggs, then he began the relatively long walk back to Brandybuck Hall. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo nearly dropped all his groceries when he realized his door was open. He knew for a fact that *he* didn't leave it that way. Frodo briefly debated finding Samwise to help him fend off whatever brigands or thieves had broken in, but he decided not to bother, and instead put his groceries by the door, and tiptoed inside, thinking he could definitely take them by surprise.

He saw dirty footprints on the floor, three sets of them, in fact, and they continued towards the dining room.

Frodo grabbed the old hat rack, a few dusty hats falling to the floor as he did so. He held it like it was a longsword, and continued walking to the dining room, his bare feet making almost no noise on the wooden floor. 

He heard chatter and boisterous laughter, and with a confused expression, he stood and listened. 

Frodo was getting more curious and confused by the second. They sure didn't *sound* like brigands or burglars. Perhaps these were the people that Lobelia and Otho were talking about. 

Frodo's bright blue eyes went wide as a horrible thought crossed his mind. What if they were crazy murderers sent by the Sackville-Bagginses? 

The thought left his mind almost as quickly as it'd entered it. Though Lobelia and Otho were many annoying things, they weren't murderers. 

Frodo sat the iron hat rack next to him with a quiet metallic clang. If the intruders heard it, they didn't give any indication. 

He peered around the corner and saw the strangest thing he'd ever seen.

There were three *dwarves* in his dining room! And they were eating his food! And using his parents' china!

Well, this was not nearly what he expected. 

There were two that Frodo guessed were related. One had blond hair and a somewhat short beard to match, and he was engaged in, if the tone of their voices was any indication, a very interesting and funny conversation with... his brother? Yes, Frodo decided, definitely his brother. 

The blond's brother had dark hair that was shorter than his brother's, but he didn't have much of a beard. He had a handsome face, much like his brother's. 

There was one more, but he wasn't eating and drinking with the other two. He was sitting in a corner by himself and looking around the room, the scribbling something down, then looking around again, then scribbling some more. They all looked pretty young, maybe all Dwarves looked like that, but Frodo always imagined that Dwarves looked old and grey. Oh well. 

Frodo, though still confused, was now more curious than anything, so, not knowing what else to do, he walked into the dining room. 

The Dwarves all looked at him, and the dark haired one grinned. 

"You must be Frodo Baggins!"

Frodo didn't know how they knew his name, but he suspected it something to do with the Lobelia and Otho. 

The dark haired one looked at his brother. "I can see the resemblance," he said with a nod. 

The red haired one who had been scribbling studied Frodo for a moment then furrowed his brow. 

"There's almost no resemblance," red haired one said. 

"Uh." Poor Frodo couldn't figure out what to say. 

The blond stood up and stared at the plates of half-eaten food. 

"I think he's suffering from shock. Hobbits are very protective of their food, I read," he said, looking slightly apologetic. 

"Oh dear, we're very sorry, Bilbo said to help ourselves to whatever if you weren't home when we arrived, and that you'd be happy to oblige. Or maybe he didn't, I might've heard him wrong, oh well," said the dark-haired one, walking over to Frodo and putting a hand on his shoulder, presumably to comfort the hobbit. 

"Um."

"I think he may be shocked that there are three dwarves in his house," said the red-haired one, looking thoughtful. 

"Oh, that didn't occur to me," the one next to Frodo said, raising his eyebrows and then turning to Frodo and smiling again. 

"Kili, at your service!" Dark haired dwarf, whose name was Kili, bowed dramatically, then stood up again with an even bigger smile. (Frodo honestly hadn't deemed that possible, but apparently dwarves could smile very big smiles.)

"Hi," Frodo managed to get out, and it came out more squeaky than he intended.

The blond stood up and bowed as well. "Fili, at your service."

The other stood up and bowed quickly. "Ori, at your service!"

"Uh..."

"Oh, do get something out other than 'uh', Frodo! You're right, Fili, absolutely no resemblance to Bilbo whatsoever. Bilbo's *entertaining*," Kili said. 

"I... My... Bilbo?" Frodo said, scratching his head and trying to take it all in.

"Bilbo Baggins, your cousin! Well, he said that he was actually your third cousin, but whatever," Fili piped up.

"He's sent us to come and take you back to Erebor to live with him," Ori said. 

"Erebor?" Frodo asked. "My uncle's, uh, alive?"

"Erebor, also known as the Lonely Mountain. It's our home. Bilbo lives there too, with his husband, our uncle," Fili replied, then gestured to him and Kili. "We're brothers, if you didn't notice."

Frodo gaped. This was all too much. "Wait, husband?"

"Yup," Ori spoke up again. "Bilbo's husband, Thorin; the King Under the Mountain."

"My uncle's a king?"

"No, no, *our* uncle's a king, *your* uncle's his husband, but yeah, he's sort of a king," Kili said, his contradiction eventually just becoming an agreement. 

"And he wants me to live with him? In a *mountain*?"

"Oi, you don't have to say it like that! It's a downright amazing mountain, if I do say so myself!" Kili protested. 

"Yes, he does, that's why we're here, to bring you back. He heard from Gandalf that your parents died, and he wanted you to come and live with him. Said he remembered you, that you broke a plate once?" Ori shrugged, sitting back down and scribbling some more. 

"Oh, yeah, I broke a plate," Frodo said and nodded. 

"Interesing tale, Mister Baggins-"

"How'd you find me?" Frodo asked, interrupting Fili's statement. 

"We asked some people called the Bagville-Bagginses, I think," Kili replied. "They told us where you lived."

"Sackville-Bagginses," Frodo corrected, gazing at the floor. His uncle wanted to bring him to live in a mountain, a palace-mountain, with a bunch of dwarves. Wait, would he be a prince? He'd be a sort of prince. Well, not many downsides to this, other than leaving the Shire. Was Frodo ready to leave the Shire? He was so young, and what about Samwise? His friend? This was all too much for Frodo's head, and he sat himself down at the table with a blank stare. 

"You alright, dear cousin-in-law?" Kili asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, we best be off," Kili was about to interrupt Fili, but his brother elbowed him in the ribs. "We'll be back tomorrow. If your decision is to go, you better get packing, if not, tell us tomorrow, okay?" Fili smiled and dragged his brother towards the door, Ori following close behind, giving Frodo a smile as he passed. 

"But I didn't finish my lunch!" Frodo heard Kili say, mournfully, as they left. 

After the dwarves had gone, Frodo sat himself in his mother's favorite chair that was next to the fireplace in the living area. 

He didn't know what to think about all this. Was he really ready to leave everything behind? This hobbit-hole was the only connection he had to his parents, other than their portrait and his memories. 

"I don't know what to do," Frodo said sadly, putting his face in his hands.  
   
There was a knock at the door and Frodo didn't even bother to look up.

"No thank you, I haven't made my decision, and no, you can't finish your luncheon!" Frodo said loudly. 

"Uh, Frodo?"

He recognized the muffled voice from behind the door and got up immediately to open the door. 

"Sam! I'm sorry, I just had the strangest day of my life," Frodo said, not exactly wishing to elaborate. 

"Did it have to do with the dwarves coming down from your house? I saw them!" Sam gasped. "Have they come to ask you to join them on an adventure? My gaffer says that's what happened to Bilbo!"

"Not exactly. Well, never mind, pretty much exactly," Frodo sighed. "Apparently, my cousin, Bilbo, isn't dead. He married a dwarf king and now he lives in a mountain, and he wants to adopt me and have me come live with him."

Sam's reaction was very similar to Frodo's. 

"Why, Frodo, that's- that's- that's amazing!"

"Yeah," Frodo replied, glum. 

"You're going to go, right?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Frodo said truthfully. 

"Why wouldn't you? You've wanted an adventure ever since you heard of Bilbo's disappearance! This is the perfect opportunity! Besides, he married a king, which will make you a prince! Right?"

"I guess so, but-"

"This is, this is great! You'll have such fun! You have got to go!" Sam beamed. 

"But Sam, I'll have to leave you, and the Shire, and everything I've ever known," Frodo said with a frown. 

"Oh," Sam frowned with him. "I didn't think of that. I still think you should go though."

"Why? Trying to get rid of me?" Frodo joked, despite himself. 

"Not at all, but I think you'll regret it the rest of your life if you don't," Sam said seriously. 

Frodo and his best friend sat in silence for a long time before Frodo made his decision. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Why did you make us leave, Fili? We were going to stay there, remember?" Kili said as they sat in the small stools of a hobbit pub in a hobbit inn called the Green Dragon Inn.

"I just think he needed some alone time to make his decision, this is all he's ever known, you know," Fili remarked, taking a drink of ale.

"I agree with Fili," Ori replied, speaking up. "He seemed a bit flustered, and we were just making it worse."

Kili sighed and looked into his mug. "Yeah, but I bet his house would've been more comfortable than here."

Fili just rolled his eyes. "Stop complaining, I might tell Uncle when we get back. You know how he hates your complaining."

Kili made a face.

"I think he'll choose to move to Erebor to live with Bilbo and us," Ori decided. 

"I hope so, Bilbo will be quite disappointed if he doesn't," Fili said.

"So will I, I like him," Kili said before swallowing the last bit of ale in his mug, and looking a bit disappointed. 

None of the three noticed the several hobbits that had been listening to their conversation, and were now babbling excitedly. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The next day, as Fili, Kili, and Ori all left the Green Dragon Inn, they couldn't help but notice the way that every single hobbit they passed stared at them. 

"It's different, than yesterday," Kili remarked, referring to their stares. 

"I noticed," Fili replied. 

Ori was quite sure he knew exactly what was going on. "They know."

"Oh, well that would explain it," Kili said, smiling and waving at a lady hobbit who was giving him a particularly incredulous glance, and then she shrieked and ran into her hobbit-hole, slamming the door behind her. 

Kili just looked at his brother, who shrugged. 

They finally reached Brandybuck Hall, and by now, a small crowd had gathered behind them, looking at the door in anticipation. 

Kili, though slightly weirded out by the various reactions of the little folk, went up to the door and knocked four times. 

The dwarves all stood back next to their ponies and the extra pony that was intended to carry Frodo, and they waited. 

It would've been eerily quiet if it hadn't been for the breeze blowing through the falling leaves and the birds chirping. 

Frodo opened the door to three pairs of expectant eyes. He prompty closed it. 

"Well, I guess we've got our answer," Fili said quietly. The dwarves then turned to leave, but stopped as they heard the door opening again. 

"Where're you going? I was just getting my bag," Frodo said with a small smile. 

The three dwarves beamed at him. The hobbits, on the other hand, gasped simultaneously. 

A short and slightly chubby hobbit stepped out from behind him, and Frodo turned to him. 

"Brandybuck Hall is yours now, Sam."

Sam smiled brightly, though he did look sad to see his friend go. 

Frodo turned to the Dwarves and smiled. "Well, aren't we off to have an adventure?"

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Needless to say, the whole Shire was in a complete tizzy over this turn of events. 

As they rode the ponies through the Shire, the stares they got spoke volumes. Some weren't surprised at all that Frodo went the way of his 'crazy' cousin, some were surprised indeed, and then some were just angry that he left Brandybuck Hall to his best friend, rather than them. (The Sackville-Bagginses.)

As they were nearly to the edge of the Shire, Frodo was shaky and nervous, and his pony must've noticed. She didn't seem to want to behave, at all. 

Frodo eventually ended up sitting behind Kili, his small arms locked tightly around the dwarf's waist, and his pony being led behind, satisfied with this turn of events and now behaving herself quite well. 

Frodo decided that he wasn't too incredibly fond of riding ponies, at least not when he was a shaky mess. He'd never been outside the Shire before, and the truth was, he was incredibly, incredibly nervous. 

One moment, he felt he was going to lose his second breakfast. He didn't, thankfully. 

As they exited the Shire, Frodo's nerves seemed to calm a bit, and now he was just excited. He eventually was calm enough to manage moving back to his own pony, although it was getting chilly and he somewhat regretted that decision. 

It was nightfall by the time they reached Bree-town, and Fili (Frodo discovered that he was the leader of this small mission, mainly because he was the oldest.) announced that they were going to stay at the inn called the Prancing Pony for the night.

Frodo was exhausted, and this plan gladdened him. As they bought a room for the night and sat at a table in the busy inn to eat dinner, Frodo couldn't help but stare around in awe at everything that was happening around him. Sure, the men were a bit drunken and, well, loud, but he'd never met a man before. They were tall. And to think he thought the *dwarves* were tall. 

"Enjoying yourself?" Ori asked, speaking for the first time in a long while. Frodo noticed that he mainly kept to himself and stayed silent, while it was a rarity for the brothers to not be talking to either each other or to Frodo. 

"It's a bit overwhelming," Frodo answered. 

"I suppose so, if you've grown up in that hole your whole life," Kili replied.

Frodo couldn't help but feel that that could've been an insult. 

"What's wrong with Brandybuck Hall?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," Kili said quickly. "It's just, you know, small."

"It fits, considering how small hobbits are," Fili said thoughtfully. 

"You're not that much taller yourselves," Frodo replied. 

Ori, noticing that this 'argument' had turned out to be quite good-natured, went back to his writing, while the hobbit and two brothers continued to debate the size of hobbits and dwarves, and the men around them drank merrily before eventually filing out to go home. 


	2. Odd Happenings Happen (And Kili harbors a certain fondness for mithril.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast ends up on people's heads, Frodo is not a murderer, and pretty things end up on pretty people and other pretty people are very speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. Ooookay, apparently people like this story.   
> YAY.   
> Thank you to all who 'kudos'ed and bookmarked and left comments, I do enjoy your constructive criticism. Hope the OP likes this.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
Chapter Two  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo had quite nearly fallen asleep on the table when Fili decided that it was time for them to retire. Frodo was obviously grateful for this, but Ori said he'd stay downstairs a while longer so he could write some more without disturbing them by lighting a candle in the room. 

Frodo yawned and dragged himself up the stairs to their room, much to the amusement of Fili and Kili, who, while tired, weren't nearly as exhausted and spent as the dark-curly haired hobbit. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo entered the room and let out a sigh. It was small, and almost reminded him of home- that was, his old home. 

There were four beds - large beds, at least to Frodo. - lined up against the wall. They all looked rather modest but comfortable, and Frodo just wanted to sink into one and never get up. 

He chose the bed at the very end of the room and right next to the window, a perfect view. Or, it would be in the morning, right now it was almost pitch black outside. 

He opened his bag that he'd carried on his back all day, just to look and make sure everything was there, plus he needed to change into his nightshirt. 

Frodo hadn't brought much. He didn't have much that he wanted to bring, nor much that he *could* bring, but he brought a few things other than clothes and extra food. 

He brought the small family portrait they had done when he was 14. It had just fit into his bag, and he was quite pleased with that. He also brought a plate from his mother's china and his father's favorite pipe, simply because they had sentimental value, and they reminded him of home. 

He took out the pipe and held it in his hands, turning it over and thinking of his father. 

"Everything alright?"

Frodo jumped slightly at the intrusion into his thoughts and put the pipe back quickly. 

"Um, yes, just getting changed for bed, that's all," Frodo said to Kili, who was the one who had interrupted him. 

"Alright, just, y'know,  making sure," Kili said, scratching the back of his neck and clearing his throat. 

"Um, good night," Frodo said politely. 

Kili turned and settled comfortably into the bed next to Frodo's, while Fili settled into the one opposite Kili, leaving the bed nearest the door for Ori, whenever he decided to sleep. 

Frodo, his head having hit his pillow, was almost asleep when Kili interrupted it. 

"Frodo, I hope it's not prying, but Fili and I," Fili made a little indignant noise at this. "wanted to know, what exactly happened to your parents? Bilbo just mentioned they'd passed away, he didn't say how," Kili said, staring at the ceiling. 

"They drowned," Frodo replied plainly. 

"Oh," Fili said.

"They went boating one night, and never came back," Frodo finished. 

"That must've been devastating," Fili said.

Kili stayed silent. 

"Yeah, it was. Only about eight months ago, actually," Frodo said, turning over in his bed to face the window. 

"That's... awful," Kili finally said. "I suppose it wasn't the brightest move to bring it up."

"It's alright, I miss them, but I'm alright," Frodo said quietly.

"Well, you've got us now. And the rest of the dwarves too, and Bilbo and Thorin, of course," Fili said. 

"Yeah, I guess I do," Frodo thought aloud. 

The room was completely silent as they fell asleep, until Ori entered about an hour later and went to bed. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo had strange dreams that night, of princes and dragons, goblins and elves. He remembered none of them.

He awoke and kept his eyes shut awhile longer, attempting to prevent the inevitable; their departure from the inn and from Bree-town. 

He opened his eyes, startled, when he heard the door fly open. He was about ready to panic until he realized in his sleepy haze that it was the dwarves. The fully dressed, ready-to-go dwarves. And Kili was in the middle, holding a plate of what looked like fried potatoes, sausages, and boiled eggs. Frodo suddenly felt more awake. 

"Ha, told you it would work! Hobbits, they smell food and they're ready to go!" Kili grinned, practically threw the plate into Frodo's hands, and then sat on his own bed, which was now made up as though nobody had slept in it. 

Frodo was indeed quite hungry, so he started eating, but the way Kili was eyeing him made him nervous. 

"So, uh, where'd Ori and Fili go?" Frodo asked, swallowing a bite of potatoes.

"They're getting the ponies ready, and you're eating much too slow," Kili said with a groan. "I'm ready to leave."

"I never eat fast, we hobbits usually enjoy our meals, rather than scarfing them down like starving wolves," Frodo said, and made a face. 

Kili threw himself on his bed and sighed, acting quite childish. 

Frodo was nearly done with his food when Kili walked over to the window, opened it, grabbed the plate out of Frodo's hands, and promptly dumped its contents right out. (It sounded like they'd ended up on a rather disgruntled man's head.)

Frodo tried to protest when Kili pushed Frodo's bag into his hands and told him to get dressed, but it got him nowhere. Kili sat on his bed again and waited.

Frodo sighed.

"Well, couldn't you give me a little, I don't know, privacy?" 

Kili nodded. "I guess you're a bit like your cousin. He'd probably react the same way."

Kili left the room, and Frodo got dressed quickly before making sure everything was packed up and ready to go, then he put his bag on his back and walked outside his room and down the stairs, outside the door, saying a hasty goodbye to the innkeeper, and finding the dwarves standing by the ponies, who were all ready to go. 

Was that the remnants of a sausage on the ground? Frodo was slightly sad, they had been very good sausages. 

He got on his pony and attempted to get comfortable. Unfortunately, his saddle was pretty uncomfortable, so he gave up and accepted the fact that he wasn't going to be all that comfortable on his journey. 

Besides, comfort was very hobbit like, and the whole point of having an adventure was to go *out* of your comfort zone. So, Frodo accepted the discomfort, it didn't seem to bother the dwarves that much. (Though they were probably used to riding ponies.)

From how the dwarves were acting, Frodo figured that the sights of Southern Bree-land were nothing special to them, but they were so... new. Though a lot of the trees resembled the ones in the Shire, they weren't the exact same, so even they were different. 

They even saw a bear, but after roaring and then trying to attack them, Kili promptly shot it down with his bow.

Frodo was slightly disappointed that the bear was dead, even if it was attacking them, it was quite interesting to watch it. 

Ori just told Frodo that they'd meet a much nicer and much larger bear as they got closer to Erebor. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

As they were making camp for the night on the outskirts of the Bree, right on the border of the Lone Lands, Fili observed Frodo and realized just how interesting hobbits really were. 

Frodo had the eyes of a child, it seemed, when it came to the world outside of the Shire. 

After setting up his sleeping place, he offered to help Ori with cooking dinner, but the youngest dwarf declined. Frodo, instead, climbed up and sat on top of a large boulder and simply watched. 

Fili also found it amusing that his little brother found Frodo so hard to understand. 

As Ori was making dinner and writing in his little book, Kili was talking to Fili about Frodo. 

"He's so, I don't know, odd. On first glance, he's just a cute hobbit-"

"Oh, so he's cute now?" 

Kili bristled. "I didn't say that, hobbits are generally cute, I suppose."

"So Bilbo's cute? I'll mention that to Uncle when we get back," Fili said in his 'thoughtful' voice. 

"Shut up," Kili said. "Get back on subject. He's strange though, really. A lot like Bilbo, but a lot *not* like Bilbo as well."

Fili stayed silent.

"Bilbo was almost all complaints at the beginning of our journey, but Frodo isn't. I mean, he probably misses his home, but he's been so..." Kili paused. "*Quiet*. It's disconcerting!"

Fili tried not to laugh, but he failed. 

Kili glared. 

"I'm sorry, but you're worried *because* he's quiet?" Fili asked, calming down enough to speak. His laughter had already earned him a curious look from Frodo, but he didn't look like he was listening. 

"Well, yeah, what if he's a murderer hobbit and he's going to kill us in our sleep?"

Fili laughed again, loud enough to get another curious look from Frodo, but he looked away again.

"Brother, there's no way you're actually worried about him killing us. It's something else," Fili reassured. 

"Something else? What, dear, dear brother, *else* could it be?" asked Kili with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice. 

"Just not him killing you in your sleep, that's all I know. Hobbits don't *kill* people," said Fili, who then went to where Ori was cooking and left Kili alone with his so-very-troublesome thoughts. 

"Well, Bilbo killed, uh, goblins!" Kili said defiantly, walking up to the log on which his brother was sitting. 

Fili just rolled his eyes. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo noticed that Fili and Kili were talking about something that was apparently interesting, if Fili's laughter was any indication. He was naturally curious, so he listened really hard to see if he could understand their conversation.

It wasn't hard, he was surprised he didn't hear their words clearly before. 

Well, Frodo was beyond surprised when he discovered that they were, in fact, talking about him.

And also that Kili was apparently convinced he was going to kill him in his sleep because he was so quiet. 

Frodo pondered this for a moment.

Just because he was almost twenty-eight didn't mean he wasn't mischievous anymore. 

He then started forming a plan to scare the dwarf, which, if it succeeded, would supply Frodo with endless entertainment. 

But then he had to eat dinner, and he wasn't able to formulate any more of his plan, at least not at the moment. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kili noticed that Frodo went to bed right after dinner. 

Perhaps he wasn't going to kill them all in their sleep.

Kili wondered if Frodo had heard his and his brother's conversation.

Maybe his feelings were hurt.

Kili felt a bit guilty. Here this poor hobbit was out of his comfy home, *adventuring*, which was a big rarity for hobbits, apparently, and Kili was accusing him of being a murderer. 

Well, he should probably apologize for that tomorrow.

He retired as well, leaving Fili and Ori to talk about paths to take that would be most efficient, though normally he would've joined them.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

In the morning, Frodo woke up early with the sole purpose of pretending he'd been planning on how to kill Kili when the dwarf woke up, but Kili wasn't at the campsite when Frodo awoke. 

Frodo was slightly disappointed that his amazing and extremely intellectual prank wouldn't be able to put into action quite yet, but he was also wondering where Kili was. 

What if someone really *had* killed him?

Ori and Fili were still sleeping, and the sun was just beginning to peek over the mountains, so Frodo decided to see if he could find the dwarf. Well, to at least make sure he wasn't dead or eaten by a bear. 

But if he was eaten by a bear, there wouldn't be a body. 

Frodo pushed that thought out of his head, and walked into the sparse trees that surrounded their campsite. 

Left or right, that was the question. 

Frodo decided to go right, though he didn't really know why. He kept walking, and he didn't know for how long, except now the sun was above the mountains completely. 

He didn't realize that he had, in fact, strayed far from the campsite, until he paused and discovered he don't know which way he came. 

Frodo sighed.

This probably wasn't good. 

He listened hard to see if he could hear anything that might lead him back to the dwarves and the fire, but all he heard was the faint sound of running water. 

They'd made camp near a little stream, and perhaps if Frodo followed the sound, he would find them. 

It was worth a try, at least. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kili had trouble sleeping that night, he tossed and turned mostly. So when the sun had finally begun to rise, he got up and decided to make himself useful and try and find them some breakfast other than fish and the dried foods they'd brought from the Shire and from Bree. 

Kili picked up his bow and quiver of arrows from beside the dying campfire. He looked around and saw that everyone was still resting peacefully, even Frodo. 

Huh, perhaps he wasn't actually trying to kill them. 

Kili knew that it was a ridiculous notion to begin with, but at least it would give a reason for Frodo's silence. 

Maybe he suffered from mutism. 

But he'd talked to them before, in the Shire and in Bree, he just hadn't spoken that much - at all. - during the traveling. 

He knew Fili didn't understand why it bothered him so much, and to be honest, he himself had no idea as well. 

Kili spotted a deer and shot at it, but his aim was sloppy and he missed. 

Kili was quite shocked.

He *never* had sloppy aim. 

Well, this is why he tried not to think too much. This is what it got you; sloppy aim, wasted arrows, and no breakfast. 

Kili continued walking, and he tried to stop thinking. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kili stopped by a stream to take a rest and splash some water on his face, and that's when he heard rustling from one of the bushes.

Ha, this time the deer wasn't going to escape, he'd get it this time. He probably didn't really *need* to kill a deer, but there'd be a shortage of food the farther they got into the dry Lone Lands, so the extra meat would be helpful. 

Kili aimed very, very carefully, and waited for the deer to show itself. 

There was a rustle in a bush, and he released the arrow.

It zipped through the air and only missed its target by a fraction of an inch. 

Which, considering what the 'deer' was, was definitely a very good thing. 

"Frodo!"

Frodo squeaked a bit and eyed the arrow that had planted itself in a tree just centimeters from his nose.

"I, uh, thought you were a deer," Kili said.

"I'm not," Frodo replied, stepping out of the bush completely. 

"Yes, well, sorry about that," said Kili before walking over to Frodo. 

"You're not hurt, are you? I almost hit you. Right in the nose. That would've been bad, very bad," Kili said, examining the hobbit's face to check for any sort of injury. 

"I'm fine," assured Frodo, backing away from the dwarf.

"Right." Kili stepped back and there was an awkward silence for a minute. 

"So, you didn't by chance hear my conversation with my brother, the other night, did you?" 

Frodo debated telling him, and decided that he could come up with a different prank. 

"The one where you expressed your fear that I might kill you in your sleep because I'm so quiet?" Frodo said, not keeping the amused grin from surfacing. 

"Not funny, and yes, that one," Kili replied sheepishly. "I figured I should apologize for that. I didn't really think you would do that, but it was very improper of me to say. Here you are, far away from your comfy home, with three dwarves you don't really even know, and I'm accusing you of plotting murder. I'm sorry," Kili stated apologetically. 

Frodo was taken aback by the apology. He hadn't been offended or hurt by the accusation. They didn't know him either, and for all they knew, he could be a crazy murderer. 

But Frodo didn't know how to say that without it sounding like he *was* a murderer, so he just stayed silent.

"Well, we had better get back to camp, I'm sure Ori and my brother are wondering where we got to," Kili finally said, and turned to head back whatever way he'd came. Frodo just followed, silently.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Frodo's not a murderer," Kili said at breakfast.

Ori just stared. He had no clue what Kili was talking about, but since he was rather odd, there was probably a sensible explanation somewhere in that head of his.

"That's good," replied Fili with a barely concealed grin. 

"Unless you count bugs," Frodo said. "I've killed a lot of bugs."

"Bugs don't count unless they're bigger than a pony and they can talk," Kili stated. 

"Even then," Fili said, apparently not convinced that killing bugs counts as murder. 

Ori, just remembering something, dashed over to his pack and pulled out a bundle wrapped in cloth. 

"Bilbo wanted me to give these to you for the duration of our journey, he said that you might need them," Ori said excitedly, and handed the bundle to Frodo. 

Frodo looked at it for a few seconds before untying the twine that held it together and pulling out two things; a sheathed hobbit-size sword and what looked like a chainmail shirt, but different. 

Kili stared at it. Fili stared at it. 

"What are they?" Frodo asked. 

"This is Bilbo's sword, Sting. He found it during his adventure with us, about eight years ago. It glows blue when orcs and goblins are near," Ori explained. 

Frodo unsheathed Sting and turned it over. It was sharpened and polished and it was a *sword*. Frodo gulped, he hoped he wouldn't *need* it. 

Kili looked visibly surprised at the chainmail shirt.

Frodo lifted it up and his surprise showed on his face. 

"It's so light!"

"This," Ori got even more excited. "Is made of mithril. Mithril's very rare, and worth so very much. Light as a feather, but harder than dragon's scales, as Bilbo puts it. Fit for a king, this is. Thorin gave it to Bilbo when they took back the Lonely Mountain, same adventure in which Bilbo found Sting."

"He must love him very much," Frodo said quietly, turning the valuable shirt over in his hands. "How could Bilbo trust me with this? He doesn't even know me."

"A little bird by the name of Gandalf told him he could," Fili said.

Frodo was still surprised, and who was Gandalf, and what was the adventure that Ori was speaking of?

"Now that that's settled, we should probably get going. We're wasting precious daylight, just sitting here," Fili said, patting Frodo on the back as he went to start packing up. 

"Yeah," Frodo said, still staring at the mithril in his hands. 

Kili, who had stayed silent throughout all of this, finally spoke. 

"I'll go help them. You should put that on. If I accidentally shoot you again, you could use the protection," he joked, as he got up and walked over to where his brother was. 

Frodo was really quite afraid of breaking it, but if Ori's description was any indication, it wasn't exactly breakable. 

He went into the cover of the woods to put it on.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"Why didn't I know about Bilbo's gifts?" Kili asked Fili once Frodo was out of earshot. 

"You didn't ask, little brother," Fili replied lightheartedly. 

"Oh, well, good point there, I suppose," Kili said. "But they could've been stolen and I wouldn't have even known."

"I'll make sure to tell you of any such things in the future," Fili answered, packing up the food. 

Once they were finished clearing the camp, Frodo still wasn't back yet. 

"I'll go get him," Kili said with a sigh, walking into the trees.

He didn't have to go far. Frodo was standing by the brook they'd camped near, and he was wearing the shirt of mithril rings. 

He looked quite nice, Kili thought.

*Very* nice. 

Kingly, in fact. 

As kingly as hobbits could look, that was. 

Kili tore himself away from staring and cleared his throat. 

Frodo turned around, surprised. 

"Oh, hi. Does it look alright? I think it makes me look ridiculous," Frodo said with a wince. 

Kili thought that no, Frodo absolutely did not look ridiculous, and no, it didn't look fine, it looked absolutely gorgeous, but that definitely isn't what he said. 

"Meh."

Kili winced internally, but that's all that he could say. 

"Meh? Well, good enough, I suppose." Frodo tucked it into his trousers and put his normal shirt on over it, and he didn't look any different. 

"We're ready to go," Kili said, swiveling around and high tailing it back to the ponies before he said or did something really stupid. 


	3. Everyone's a Dollophead. (Not really.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Ori decide that matchmaking is a lovely pastime, Kili and Frodo remain oblivious, and plans backfire. This will probably happen a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately I'm a freaking lazy writer, so this chapter took forever. I figured a somewhat short chapter was better than no chapter, so I'm uploading it anyway. Enjoy!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
Chapter Three  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

They mounted their ponies and rode back to the path that would eventually lead them to the Trollshaws, and from there, the Elf safe haven of Imladris. 

Kili realized, about an hour into their ride, that he had nearly preferred Frodo's silence, at least compared to how he was behaving now. 

Rather than keeping quiet to the point of being creepy, the hobbit now couldn't shut *up*. 

After hearing a few choice tidbits of the adventure Bilbo had set out on nearly eight years ago, Frodo developed an insatiable curiosity for anything and everything to do with it. 

So, for the past thirty or so minutes, he'd been trotting in the back alongside Ori and listening to the dwarf recite every minuscule detail of Bilbo and Thorin's first adventure. 

Having a memory as good as Ori's, plus the odd/sometimes useful habit of writing absolutely everything down, was becoming a bit of a nuisance, at least to Kili. Fili didn't seem bothered in the slightest. (He actually looked rather amused.)

It's not that he didn't enjoy listening to Frodo's voice-- er, listening to Frodo talk, actually. He did. That was the problem. 

Kili has always had a problem with realizing the way he felt. For example, the odd feeling he got whenever he was around Frodo, he at first attributed to fearing him. 

It wasn't that, at all. 

And the odd feeling he got when he listened to Frodo's voice? He attributed that to feeling annoyed, although he wasn't. 

Kili was really, really, oblivious. 

In any other subject, he was very intelligent. But when it came to his feelings, he could be as dumb as a doorpost. 

And the one person who knew this was, of course, his brother. Fili. 

And Fili, being quite savvy himself when it came to matters of the heart, loved to tease him about it. 

Ori was like that as well. More accurately, Ori knew body language like Kili knew bows. 

He always put that in his writing too, hence why most people didn't get to read the 'unpolished' versions. 

They were actually the versions where he put all those little notes, for example, in the notes and things he took during the Quest for Erebor, he always put side notes about how Thorin glanced at Bilbo when danger was imminent or how Bilbo behaved when Thorin made him feel he had something to prove. 

He figured out their feelings before they themselves did, which he was very proud about, not that they'd ever know that. 

So, did Ori notice the not-so-hidden way Kili looked at Frodo as the hobbit asked his many questions about Bilbo's adventure?

Oh yes, oh yes he did. 

So, when they stopped to rest for a spell, Ori sat next to Fili as Kili talked to Frodo. 

"Do you see it?" Fili asked him. 

"Yes," was Ori's simple reply. 

They exchanged glances. Plans were definitely being formed. 

They weren't the only two forming plans. Frodo was explaining to Kili the prank he'd been planning to play, for no good reason, and Kili found it absolutely delightful that Frodo enjoyed making mischief. 

He himself had been incredibly fond of it when he was a younger dwarf. 

Actually, not that young. When they retook Erebor, he found great pleasure in trapping Bilbo and Thorin in awkward situations until they finally realized that the other felt the same. 

Matchmaking was another thing Kili enjoyed, not that there was much opportunity for that anymore. Nobody was falling in love. 

Well, not that he could realize. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/

Frodo decided that Kili was his favorite dwarf. 

Was that bad? Playing favorites? Probably. 

Frodo didn't care much if it was. He already liked all three dwarves, but there was something he couldn't explain that drew him to the dark-haired archer. 

He literally had no idea what it meant. 

He feared he was replacing Sam in the position of best friend, and he really didn't want that. But he wouldn't be seeing Sam anytime soon, so would it be bad?

Frodo was still confused. 

But then Kili mentioned that he also really enjoyed playing pranks, though he hadn't done any good ones for quite some time, and Frodo couldn't help but think they'd end up being very good friends. 

Even if the dwarf was pretty odd and Frodo was confused. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

"So, what do you think they've been talking about for the past hour?" Fili asked Ori, in regards to the hushed conversation Kili and Frodo had been engaged in since they started riding again. 

"Not sure," Ori replied quietly. "I doubt it's what *I* think it is."

Fili blinked twice and then burst out laughing.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Ori protested, but he didn't sound all that sorry. 

"I know," Fili said, in between giggle fits. He wasn't doing a very good job of controlling his laughter, but to both his and Ori's surprise, Kili and Frodo paid them no heed. 

Fili sighed at the sight of the hobbit and dwarf. "My poor brother. I've no idea what to do with him, sometimes."

Ori just smiled cryptically. 

"Really? No reply? Really?" Fili sounded somewhat exasperated at the other dwarf. 

"Sorry, but I don't want to imply something that's not there, so I can't say what I'm thinking," Ori offered.

"Please, we both already confirmed it, remember?" 

Ori just grinned and slowed his pony, allowing Fili to ride ahead slightly.

Unlike their quite interesting adventure with Bilbo, this one was beginning to be quite a bore. 

The only enemy they'd seen was a troll who paid them no heed and just continued on his way, singing. The only interesting part of that was Frodo's facial expressions. He'd apparently never seen a singing troll. 

Though, neither had the dwarves, but pretty much nothing could surprise them now, after what they'd seen through their lives. 

About two hours after midday, Frodo managed to scare his pony. That was quite a feat, considering that the dwarves had purposely taken and given him the most calm pony in all of Erebor. 

But Frodo, the poor hobbit, managed to frighten his pony into galloping ahead, Kili chasing after with a almost panicked look, which really amused the other two dwarves.

Fili was already beginning to grow fond of the hobbit, but he knew the pony - her name was May, and she used to be Ori's pony. - wouldn't throw Frodo off, so he just chuckled and then Ori joined in. They were both giggling like little children.

However, Frodo knew absolutely nothing about Dwarven customs, he just passed it off as a normal thing for them to do. Kili, on the other hand, wasn't as amused. 

"This isn't funny, he could've died!" Kili protested as he and Frodo rode back to them, May now docile again. 

"I was fine," Frodo added.

"No, you weren't, you could've been seriously injured," Kili replied. 

Frodo frowned, but didn't get anther word out because Kili spoke again. 

"And Uncle would've probably put me on chamberpot duty if anything happened to you," he added quickly, much like an afterthought. 

"Brother, nobody could blame you for worrying about our dear little hobbit. He's clearly very fragile and all. It's fine to admit it," Fili said, his tone clearly implying that he was teasing.

"Indeed, after all, Thorin was very worried about Bilbo almost all the time on our first journey, so we understand," Ori piped up. 

Kili flushed, understanding the full extent of what his brother and friend were both implying. 

"That's- that's ridiculous!" Kili sputtered. 

Frodo, who didn't quite understand what the dwarves were thinking about, just watched with a bunch of possible explanations surfacing at once. He went through them in his head to dispose of the irrational ones, of course, and was left with Kili thinking he was a little child. Frodo wasn't pleased. 

"Not so, dear Kili, the way you act makes it so obvious. Just admit it already, it won't harm anyone," Fili said. 

Kili looked very unsettled and frustrated by their assumptions, so he simply started riding ahead and ignoring them all. 

"What was that about?" Frodo asked. 

"Oh, nothing," Ori said innocently. 

"I'm not a child, you know, you don't have to treat me like one," Frodo said defensively. 

"That's not-" Fili began. 

"I just turned twenty-eight today. I'm getting very close to my coming of age. Just because I'm smaller than you doesn't mean  I can't take care of myself." Frodo frowned and rode ahead with Kili, him and the other dwarf staying silent while Fili and Ori exchanged glances, realizing that their teasing left the wrong implication on the hobbit and left Kili peeved and sulking. 

"Oh dear," Ori said.

Fili just groaned.


End file.
